How Many Licks?

Today, I watched the commercial called, “How Many Licks?”. It’s the one where the little, naked boy with no penis (settle down, it’s a cartoon) asks a cow, a fox, a turtle, and an owl to tell him how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.

I like this as an analogy, if not a segue for an examination of polyamory. Polyamory is defined as a form of ethical monogamy that involves committed relationships between two or more people – usually romantic relationships.

Now, admittedly, it is very difficult to count licks in polyamory. Or, it should be, if you’re doing it my way. So, what’s my take on it?

The gooey, soft, chewy center is my soul. The deepest and inner me. To get that, you gotta put your innermost, cherished inner self into the mix. It’s not enough to “have skin in the game”. Skin regrows with proper nutrition (Vitamin C and Protein, you’re welcome). You can stitch, staple, or superglue it back together if someone rips it open. It can be covered with a bandaid. In the worst case scenario, a scar can be covered with a jaunty scarf. BUT, the gooey, soft chewy center needs protection!

So, the brilliant folks at Tootsie Roll Industries encased it in a round, hard, delicious confection of sugar! It’s delightful in small doses. It’s high fructose corn syrup at its finest.

Did you see it? RIGHT THERE! Polyamory, or more specifically ethical or consensual non-monogamy is the lovely candy outside where you can lick all you want and stay away from the gooey, soft, chewy center. (Spoiler Alert: Watch the commercial)

It meets your needs if you have a sweet tooth. You know what I mean: a hankering. Lick it. Bite it gently. BUT, don’t go too deep. This isn’t a meal, friend, it’s a snack.

Every now and then, I slip. I let someone past the hard candy coating. He nibbles at my soft gooey center and I love it. I get part of his soft, gooey center and I really like it. We nibble.

Sounds great, right? It is but there so many other flavored tootsies so why not taste them all? Or, as many as you can? Well, in my world, I don’t share my soft, gooey, chewy center with everyone but I will let you lick me. As for you, put a wrapper on it and don’t get diabetes. Shit, mixed metaphors 🙂